Only in America...can a pizza get to your house
faster than an ambulance...
Only in America...are there handicap parking
places in front of a skating rink...
Only in America...do drugstores make the sick
walk all the way to the back of the store to get
their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in America...do people order double cheese
burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open
and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk
in the garage.
Only in America...do we use answering machines to
screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to
in the first place.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages
of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to
describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning
"many" and "tics" "meaning bloodsucking creatures."
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines
with Braille lettering
AND MY FAVORITE:
Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in
a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House!
