Darwin Awards 2000

Once again it is time to start thinking about casting your vote for this
year's Darwin Award winner! As many of us who are into the family history
thing know, the Darwin Awards are for those who contribute to the gene pool
by dying in spectacularly stupid ways before they breed (thankfully).

This year's nominees are:

NOMINEE No.1 [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun
like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot
himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

NOMINEE No.2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police described
as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other
man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

NOMINEE No.3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the
sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but
grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew
it to his ear.

NOMINEE No.4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer, demonstrating the safety
of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper, crashed through a pane with his
shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police
spokesman said Gary Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion
Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the
building's windows to visiting law students. He previously had conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto
Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the
200-man association.

NOMINEE No.5: [Bloomberg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no
ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his
own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed
large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily
of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right
combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from
breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been
outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the
man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He
was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of
the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE No.6: [The News of the Weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin made News of
the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's
electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to
life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting
to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO.7: ["The Indianapolis Star"] A Jay County man using a cigarette
lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when
the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said Gregory
David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m.
Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a ..54-caliber muzzleloader that had
not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel
when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No.8: [AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police,
Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth and walked out without
paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store.
Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked
him to death.

NOMINEE No.9: [Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing
above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on
him.

NOMINEE No.10: [Associated Press, Kincaid, W.VA] A man at a party popped a
blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew
off his lips, teeth and tongue, State Police said Wednesday. Jerry
Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party
late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium,
hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't
go off and this guy said, "'I'll show you how to set it off."

NOMINEE No.11: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] A man cleaning a birdfeeder
on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped
and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a
wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the
Peel Regional Police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over the
balcony," Honer said.

NOMINEE No.12: [UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University Hospital
said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is
lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony
Roberts, 25, lost his right eye during an initiation into a men's rafting
club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, OR. A friend tried to shoot a
beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors
said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would
have cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny
Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through
8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull,
yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that
if Roberts had tried to pull the arrow out he surely would have killed
himself. Roberts admitted that afterward he and his friends had been
drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."

NOMINEE No.13 The Calgary Sun Saturday, December 28, 1996 VANCOUVER (CP) A
man arguing over a love triangle accidentally shot himself in the groin,
taking off his testicles and part of his penis. Police said the man was
waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during the shouting match early
yesterday, but when he stuffed it back in his pants, the gun went off.
Police were called to the hospital after friends brought in the man in his
20s. Charges are pending against the victim, who is expected to survive.

And finally,

NOMINEE No.14: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two local men were seriously
injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton
Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey
Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole,
33, of Des Arc, and
Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, are listed in serious condition at
Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning
to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's
pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the
headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement
fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the ..22 caliber bullet from his
pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column.
Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly,
and the two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White River bridge. After
traveling
approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet
apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle.
The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the pavement and striking a
tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but
will require surgery to repair the
other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls
off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten
years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't
believe that those two would admit how this accident
happened", said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs
the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.