Computer Problems

So you think you're computer-illiterate? Check out the
following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press any
key" to "Press the Enter key" because of the flood of calls
asking where the "any" key is.

2. Gateway support had a caller complain that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The dust cover
turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. A Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his
old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat
failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer
had labeled the diskettes and then rolled them into the
typewriter to type the labels.

4. Another Gateway customer was asked to send a copy of
her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived
from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the diskettes.

5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled
floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer
asked the technician to hold on, and was heard putting the
phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the
door to his office.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get
his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-
shooting, the technician discovered that the man was trying
to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor and pressing the "Send" key.

7. Another Dell customer need help setting up a new program,
so a technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah,
I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When
told that Egghead was a software store, the man said "Oh,
I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his
keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling his
tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day,
then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. A Gateway technician spoke to a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid."
The technician explained that the computer's "bad command" and
"invalid entry" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell couldn't get her new computer
to turn on. After making sure the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response was "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happened."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

11. A customer called Compaq to say her brand new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in
and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch,
she asked "What power switch?"

12. This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access
Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was
typing his user name and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: OK, let's try once more, but use lower case
letters. Customer "Uh, I only have capital letters on my
keyboard."

13. True story from a Novell NetWire technician:
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I'm within my
warranty period. How do I get it fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because
I am. Did your receive this as part of a promotional, at a
trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything
about a promotional. It just has '32X.' on it."
At this point the technician had to mute the caller, because
he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load
drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and had snapped
it off the drive!

Admit it, you feel just little superior after reading these, don't
you?!